NAIS: Michael Thompson on Teaching Boys

Michael Thompson spoke to a standing room only crowd at Friday’s NAIS 8:00 a.m. session on Teaching Boys.  Thompson has long been a favorite expert on boys in the independent school world. Thompson is a psychologist, school consultant, and author or co-author of eight books, including the New York Times bestseller, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions about Raising Sons and Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children. His newest book, It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Eighteen.

Thompson offers a list of dos and don’t for teaching boys that he has formulated with Bambi Betts who runs Principals Training Center in the international school world.  Thompson does not necessarily advocate single sex learning, but he certainly does advocate that all educators understand their students and have the tools that they need to better reach, engage and build relationship with all of their students.

The over-arching message for teachers of boys, whether it is in a co-ed environment or a all boy environment, is for teachers to reassess their assumptions and increase their research-based understanding on how boys learn best. Boys do not learn well alone or quietly, sitting properly in their desk, always being expected to actively attune to what the teacher is saying. 

Here is what Thompson advises:

Re-think homework. Teachers should strive to make homework meaningful and worth the boy’s time. The goal of school, especially in the early years is to inspire boys to love learning, not to love homework. Girls tend to love homework. Boys value their playtime (all non-school time is their playtime) and get frustrated by things that impinge upon this time. LIttle boys resent homework because many of them feel the homework is “morally illegitimate,” a serious intrusion into their space. 

The main goal need to be re-emphasized. The main goal, especially for young boys (pk - 2) is to get them to love school and learning. Homework works against that aim because it creates mistrust in teacher-boy relationship. Teachers should work to not confuse quantity and quality.  “A lot of independent school homework is for show, designed to show the rigor of the school.” Thompson calls this sort of showy homework “an independent school chest beating.” 

 A  lot of homework is designed just to please the teacher, not to deepen learning. Homework should be differentiated, shortened, whatever it takes to make it real, relevant, meaningful. A good idea is homework online that gives boys immediate feedback. Another good idea is to give boys a way to earn their way out of their homework.

Authenticity. Boys have a heightened reality radar. Boys often consider schools irrelevant to their lives right now, so connecting assignments to the real world and to their aspirations of the type of man they want to be is important to create any sort of mental and emotional engagement. Boys typically do not become future-oriented until sometime in college therefore, work should not always appeal to future lives and success but to boys lives now.

Do not use the threat of failure. The constant threat of failure, on which most schools are premised at their deepest level, does not work for boys because they eventually write off the entire enterprise of school. The constant threat of failure is demoralizing and makes boys feel badly about themselves. The threat of failure tends to make boys shut down and the result is that they will withdraw from the teacher-student relationship completely because the threat behavior is considered a aggressive dominance move. Boys will become obstinate and non-engaged in the learning.  

Pre-assessment. Do the boys in your class already know a lot of the stuff you are going to teach this year?  And do you know what they already know? They won’t respect your teaching until you find out what they know. Pre-assessment is essential to creating a learning alliance with boys. If you waste boys’ time teaching boys something they know, you lose them.  Pre-assessments tells boys that you respect them and that you also value their time.

Movement. You cannot underestimate the need for boys to learn. Boys need to move every 20 minutes. You are better off teaching short sequences of material interrupted by periods of movement. Let them move inside the classroom as much as you can tolerate. This should be obvious to teachers much more than it is. Movement should be allowed in coed classes as well if you are considered to make school an effective place for girls and boys. Let them experience the learning in their body, for example - they may well learn Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, but you will have more success if you let them act it out, even with swords.

Minimize words. maximize non-verbal cue. Avoid power struggles. Female teachers mostly use to many words and rely on harsh, loud tones to get boys attention. Teachers should learn to use their physical presence and their relationship with their boy students to get boys attention.

Do not compare boys unfavorably to girls, ever. Boys know they are behind developmentally. Don’t rub it in because this erodes the boy’s trust in you. In co-ed classes, teachers often compare boys disorganization and lack of motivated to girls’ pleasing behaviors.Teachers often tell boys, especially in middle school, how immature they are all the time. The result is that boys take their soul our of school. Teachers should own the responsibility for structuring the learning environment so that boys get what they need. Yes, yes, yes, teaching must be differentiated by gender in a co-ed classrooms.

Use humor. Irony, mystery, surprise, a well-told story, these all work well. Do not use sarcasm as it works deeply against trust. Boys consider sarcasm as aggression.

Do not set boys up for failure. They are very shame sensitive. For example, if a boy comes to kindergarten writing in all capital letters, do not tell him it is wrong. Boys are typically not perfectionist and we should not teach them to be so.

Boys love technology. Technology gives them a sense of control and empowerment. Use their love of technology and especially video games to your advantage. Do not minimize this love by trying to regulate their tech time or by criticizing video games. Work to understand what appeals to boys about gaming and technology and infuse your teaching with it.

Let boys read and write about and draw what they love. Do not judge their subject matter. This is often a point of contention for teachers and boys. Boys in general prefers non-fiction, graphic novels, stories of emotional heroism. They do not typically like the fiction that teachers seem to prefer. They do love stories of espionage, combat, and death.

Boys are cost-benefit analyzers. They are not typically motivated by grades. They are motivated by getting a decent grade in the shortest amount of time. Boys are more strategic learners than we give them credit for. Learn to capitalize on this awesome skill.

Blocks and building toys should be in boys classrooms through 3rd grade. 

independent school consultant, change management, Jamie Baker, Jamie Feild Baker, Jamie Field Baker,
leadership development, strategic thinking, strategic planning, independent school, 21st century skills, NAIS